Comment Wall
I have found this image online and hope that my comment wall looks like this. https://museumofinuitartblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/
Here is the link to my portfolio and comment wall, I hope you guys enjoy my stories!
Introduction to Me and My Blog
This photo was taken at our family farm in Arkansas last fall and was uploaded from my computer. Hello my name is Kenzie Golden and welcome to my blog. I am from Cherokee, Oklahoma which is a really small town in northwest Oklahoma. I grew up on a farm and went to a really small high school with only 19 students in my graduating class. I am a junior at The University of Oklahoma. Back home along with my parents I have two younger siblings and a two year old aussiedoodle and a cat. Some of my Hobbes include sports, painting, traveling, and hanging out with friends and family. My favorite foods are Italian food and any kind of breakfast food. I am currently working at a gym and in the middle of getting my personal train certification. I chose to come to OU because being from such a small town I knew that I wanted to get out into the world and experience new things. I knew absolutely no one as an incoming freshman at the university but I joined a sorority and quickly made so many friend
Hey Kenzie! Your story was very sweet and definitely had that fairy tale ending, along with an overall vibe of whimsical throughout the whole story. Reading your author's note, I saw that you made quite a few changes, primarily using the original as a foundation for everything you did. The context of the story was really good and easy to follow! The use of a deer made me think of Harry Potter which aided in the imagery of whimsy and magical. As far as edits go, I noticed a few grammatical errors or extra words in sentences. I am so guilty of quickly skimming my work and turning it in, so I totally understand the reason behind those little things! Just something to look for when your final edits are done. Also, including more detail in your author's note might give readers a better idea of the drastic changes between the two stories. Overall though I think it was really great!
ReplyDeleteHi Kenzie! I liked the aesthetic and design of your project from the get go. I liked it even more after reading your story. It fits very well with the fairy tail style of story telling! I wasn't really sure which direction this story was going to take, but I was very happy with how it turned out. I can see why Penelope would take a special interest in the dear. First of all, she just seems kind and compassionate. But I bet it would be very lonely for Penelope. The deer would serve as company; it would definitely be better than having no one! It was pretty special that Penelope was rewarded for how well she took care of the deer. This is one of the stories that has the message: if you do the right thing, things will work out in the end. I especially liked how the deer took Penelope to show her the assortment of goods and treasures in the forest. The deer turning into a man was the cherry on top. Great story!
ReplyDeleteHi Kenzie,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really like the colors of your portfolio! The neutral and the marble are very soothing on the homepage. However, it is lacking an actual picture and an introduction or description of what the portfolio is going to be like. I did a storybook, so I am not sure what your requirements are, but it was hard for me to have initial thoughts with no pictures or descriptions on the homepage.
Your first story, "The Magical Deer," was very well-written and I enjoyed it very much! I love how you had small paragraphs that broke up big portions of the text. It makes it easier to read without feeling super overwhelmed!
I also love how you twisted the story to have a happy ending. I, too, am a sucker for fairy tales and happily ever afters!
I am looking forward to reading more stories from your portfolio soon!
-Libby
Hi Kenzie, I really enjoyed your retellings! I hadn't read any of these stories but after reading the author's notes and seeing exactly how they went, your retellings were great. I also like many of the changes you made, I'm also a sucker for a happy ending so I loved that Penelope and the deer lived happily ever after, like the husband and the cat. I think it's kind of funny how many stories have people that are really animals in disguise. I think there are a few areas that have some missing words, so I would suggest maybe rereading some of the areas but overall the stories were so much fun. I think the change you chose for the end of Karma cat was also good because yes it is a punishment that she died from venomous snakes but to have to keep living with regrets and alone is also a strong punishment.
ReplyDeleteHey Kenzie! I think this is my first time reading someone's stories who used wix instead of google sites. Is there a certain reason you chose wix over google sites? Nevertheless, I think your website looks great! The white background really draws attention onto your actual story and puts extra emphasis on the pictures your chose. I found this retelling to be a very enjoyable read. I think you did a very good job showing the relationship between Penelope and the deer, and I loved reading as their relationship grew. I liked how the ending was a "happily ever after" one, I feel like a lot of times in folklore they do not always end so happily. As for Penelope, she really lucked out getting the treasure and the man! As for your 'Karma Cat' story, I'm glad the wife got what she deserved. You did a great job with these stories. I look forward to reading more in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Kenzie!
ReplyDeleteI really love the website design that you chose! The aesthetic really matches the stories that you chose to tell (they're very cottage core and I love it).
The first story about Penelope and the deer was so charming! You did a great job with the details of the story. We can really see and feel the sacrifices that Penelope is making (especially where food is concerned) to take care of the deer. I'm also a sucker for a happy ending, so I love that you gave me one! I was waiting for the deer to turn into a beautiful prince and whisk her away, and you didn't disappoint me!
In the "Karma Cat" story, I love the twist ending that you gave. Fairy tales love to show gruesome deaths as the worst possible thing that could happen, but I think you're right. Being forced to live with and suffer the consequences of your own actions has always struck me as crueler than death. The only critique I think I can offer is to tighten up your grammar a little bit. I'm very poor at grammar, so I completely understand how easy it is to make a mistake, but there's a few comma splices and tense errors within the story. It's pretty minor, but it will tighten everything up if you fix them up. That being said, it's a wonderful portfolio, and I'm very excited to see what else you write for it!
Hi Kenzie!
ReplyDeleteI would like to say that I enjoy reading you rewriting story! Your plots would never make me feel boring. They provide the motivation for me to continue reading forward. Moreover, the specific description in your story is vivid and interesting. For example, each character shows their unique personalities and characteristics. In my view, this is an important factor in a success story. However, I am interested in why the wife is scary about the cat when she just saw it? Also, did you try to connect some reality to the rewriting story? Although you mentioned that the woman is not a good wife, the husband also choose to cheat her right? I mean he choose to stay with the cat (or the maiden) at last instead of his wife. In your mind, dose the husband do the right thing?
Hi Kenzie!
ReplyDeleteReading your portfolio was a bit of a treat since I read the story about the deer back when you'd posted it on your blog originally, and the story with the cat feels familiar as well, so I think I may have read that one before as well.
I really like the revisions you've made to the stories to clean them up when you posted them to your portfolio site!
The story about the deer in particular seems to have been much improved since I'd originally read it weeks ago. I feel the ending on it is far better explained that it had been before, which I thought was a really nice touch!
I liked that both of your author's notes helped explain the basic places where your stories had diverged from the original stories.
My only recommendation would be to try to make the images and text a little bigger on your site, other than that, great work!